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Aight, listen up, you freakin’ losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, huh? Sweet! I’m ragin’ hard just thinkin’ ‘bout it! Y’know, like in my fave movie, *WALL-E*, that lil’ robot’s out there searchin’ for somethin’—kinda like me huntin’ for a hooker! “Directive!”—yeah, my directive is gettin’ some action, bitches!

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I’ve been living here for years as a dating app developer – yeah, matching people left and right. I see all the little cracks of life. Take Calle Sol, for instance. Nice mix of old corrugated buildings and quirky, hipster cafes. Spent many nights there debugging my app while sippin’ extra-strong coffee, feelin’ kinda like a modern-day detective in an Oldboy flick. "Laughing is fun, but crying costs money!" Not really from the movie, but ya get the point!

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