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Lemme tell ya, Escort ain’t no Ferrari, nah, but it’s got guts! Back in the ‘80s, me mate Dave – total nutter – had one. Drove it into a ditch, pissed outta his skull, and it still ran! Little known fact, yeah? They made a rally version, Escort RS, proper beast, won races and all. Surprised me, that did – thought it was just for grannies and milkmen, hah! “Sharon, ya gotta see this!” I’d yell, imaginin’ her rollin’ her eyes.

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Now, lemme spill some secrets – the back alleys are where the magic hides. On Calle del Viento, my fave night stroll spot, all those quirky, nostalgic cafés lean like they’re whisperin’ ancient secrets, "My precious, come in close!" Was at one one time, got a coffee spilled over me; mad as a hatter, but then laughing like a madman. Pure adrenaline, yesss!

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