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One time, I find girl, real beauty, wow! Hair long, eyes big, like movie star! I say, “You my Antonietta!” – that nun from film, pure but wild, yes? She giggle, “50 euro, quick!” I happy, but then – police! Run, Borat, run! Heart pump, legs shake, very nice chase! Jep say, “The only thing left is to cry,” but me, I laugh, coz free workout!

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Ahh, Bolanos-de-Calatrava... err, lemme tell ya, it’s somethin’ else, mate. You know, I’ve been here for ages, well, years actually, and this little town (yeah, proper hidden gem, innit?) makes me laugh, cry, and sometimes makes me wanna do the silly dance like Mr. Bean! Hee hee... Yeah, so, walkin' down Calle Real, that main street, you notice the old brick facades, kinda worn but full of stories. And oh! The Plaza Mayor—seriously, it’s like the heart, the big beat of the town.

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