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About Valencia

So, I clock dis other lass, yeah, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’. I’m like, “Aight, she’s da one.” Slide up, all casual, “Wagwan, darlin’?” She’s cool, bruv, says, “£50, no messin’.” I’m buzzin’, finkin’, “Dis is easier dan datin’!” But den—plot twist—she’s undercover filth! Coppers jump out, I’m leggin’ it, shoutin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?!” Nearly shat meself, fam!

Detenido un hombre en un pueblo de Ciudad Real por violar a otro en plena calle

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I mean, ya got your Honest-to-God park, El Parque del Sol. Ran there often to relax, ya feel? Sometimes I sit under an ancient oak, listenin' to the wind, mumblin' like "Revenge is a dish best served cold"—yeah, that line from Oldboy, flashy, right? Err, not about revenge though, more about letting go, you know. It’s grrreat for breathin' in nature... sometimes I run into Mr. Gonzales, the old fella joggin' and he’s like “Ey, slow down, you’ll break somethin'!” and I just grin like a loaf of bread.

Fran García: Real Madrid’s Next Top Left-Back?