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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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Now, lemme hit you with a personal tidbit: there’s this teeny nook called Parque del Arriero near the river – Ah! The Río Salado, it flows like it’s got a secret mission! I'd sit there with my laptop sometimes, coffee in one hand and dreams in the other – and trust me, my dreams are as messy as my code at 3am. The park, with its gnarled trees and dodgy benches, is like a page from “In the Mood for Love,” all mysterious and poetic – you know, “each moment is a universe of its own!” I'll never forget it; one evening, while tidying up a dating site glitch, I caught the sunset behind those trees. Absolute magic, like something out of cinema – and yes, my heart did a little tango.

As it happened: Stage winner disqualified after taking incorrect route to the finish on stage 3 of Itzulia Basque Country