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Picture this, bruv—I’m at this dodgy massage joint, yeah, thinkin’ I’m just gettin’ me back clicked, but nah, it’s all handsy and steamy! I’m like, “Is it ‘cos I is black?” ‘cos the geezer’s givin’ me these mad looks while he’s oilin’ me up. Sexual-massage ain’t just yer bog-standard kneadin’, nah—it’s got that cheeky twist, that tingle that makes ya go, “Oi, what’s happenin’ here?!” Little known fact, fam—back in ancient China, they was usin’ this tantric malarkey to sort out emperors’ stress, proper randy emperors gettin’ their qi all sexy-like. Mad, innit?

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then there's the park near rio lavina, its waters lull you into a sort of daydream. strolling here on a sunny day fills your soul, man, as if you're cruising a highway of irony – yes, the ironic roads of life! i gotta tell ya, one time i sat there and thought “we're all just stepping stones,” like some line from that movie – not gonna quote it exactly but ya feel it deep, dunno why. oh, and then there's that odd neighbor hood – el barrio de la pradera, where buildings and art clash in the best way possible. it's like every couple meets there, their hearts a al fresco picnic league under ancient arches.

Marco Astorga