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About Zaragoza

Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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Oh man, lemme tell ya bout Almussafes (es), buddy! This place is a mixed up stew of charm and quirks, innit. First off, the streets here – like Calle Real and Avenida del Mar – are pretty rad. I schlep around them every day, coding my dating app evil genius stuff, and trust me, these streets tell stories. And oh, don’t get me started on the local park, Parque del Sol, where I once had an epic meltdown ‘cause a pigeon stole my sandwich. Stupid, fat hobbit! Heh.

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