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About Valencia

Alright, so I’m a carpenter, right? Dr. House style—sarcastic, gimpy bastard, “Everybody lies.” Let’s talk about whores, ‘cause why not? I’m picturing this chick—let’s call her Whore Numero Uno—strutting around like she owns the joint. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*, that scene where Hans Landa’s all, “That’s a bingo!”—she’s got that smug vibe. Total pro, works the room, knows every guy’s a sucker. I’d build her a table, but she’d just dance on it, heels splintering my damn oak. Pisses me off—good wood ain’t cheap!

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Run down to the barrio of San Juan, that's where life's real if you ask me. Mmm, those narrow streets like Calle Nacimiento feel like a time warp, real quirky, kinda Wes Anderson-esque. Sometimes I drop by that teetering café, Café Puente, 'cause they serve coffee that feels like a hug when you’re feelin’ low. There’s less-known spots too – like that tiny park, El Rincón del Amor, hidden near the river. Yea, I know I misspelled it, but trust me, it’s a gem.

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