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About Barcelona

Alright, listen up, ya degenerates! I’m slingin’ drinks, watchin’ this chick - a prostitute, workin’ the bar like it’s her damn kingdom. Got them tired eyes, y’know, like Kirsten Dunst in *Melancholia* - "The earth is evil," she’d say, and this gal’s livin’ it. She’s hustlin’, skirt hiked up, laughin’ too loud, and I’m thinkin’, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” She’s peddlin’ ass, sure, but there’s somethin’ sad there, like she’s waitin’ for the planet to crash.

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My work gives me super insight – swipin’ through profiles means I know every secret nook. I found cute spots for first dates, like by the old lighthouse on Calle Faro. Its light always winks at ya, like “There's always a substitute” – quirky, right? Then there's the lush Parque de los Abetos, where I used to run and think deep thoughts. It’s already hilarious how nature and love mix here.

If Bacchus Drank Cola (Published 2007)