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About Valencia

*raspy cackle* My precious! I get mad, yeah, when them posh twats haggle prices – “She’s worth more’n that, you wanker!” Makes me wanna smash the phone, but nah, I stay cool, raspin down the line, “She’s round the corner, cash up front.” Happy tho, when a reg calls – good lad, tips big, ain’t a creep. Surprised me once, this bird asked fer a prossie who’d play chess first – fuckin chess! Swear down, nearly choked on me tea.

What’s it like living in Alcalá la Real?

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And, like, there are so many memories! I remember a steamy summer night in a tiny bar off Avenida de la Independencia – the vibe was totally out of this world and it made me appreciate every, um, intimate detail of human connection. I spilled a drink on my fave vintage dress (so not cute, lol) but, like, it's those unplanned moments that make life awesome!

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