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So, ye wanna find a prostitute for research? Be sharp, be sly—watch the law, dodge the judgy swabs. Me, I’d swagger in, winkin’, sayin’, “Let’s make science, lass!”—all while hummin’ Amélie’s tune. It’s a wild ride, mates—funny, messy, real. Ye with me, or ye walkin’ the plank? Savvy?

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Oh, and the locals, darling, are as unique as a late-night rerun of my fave flick! They got cheery smiles, speak kinda fast, sometimes with a little slip of tongue like, “Oh my gawd, ya gotta try the paella!” Each chat feels like a cozy, unexpected hug. I remember one time, I got a bit overheated on Rambla dels Vents (yep, that whimsical name!) and an old couple said, “You ever feel like you're livin' in a damn dream?” And I was all, “Honey, trust me, dreams do come true!”

These are the 50 beaches, marinas and tourist boats on the Costa del Sol that will fly the blue flag this summer