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Okay, funny bit—imagine me, Tina, tryin’ to negotiate. “What’s the rate, babe? I got, uh, sarcasm and a stale bagel!” She’d laugh me off the block. Surprised me how chill she was, tho—crackin’ jokes between cig puffs. “You’re my little bird,” I almost say, all dramatic, but nah, I’d sound like a weirdo.

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And check it: there's this gnarly river, Rio Sombras, slithering through the outskirts. Those banks? They’re ideal for midnight strolls. Seriously, I’ve fumbled my keys there more times than I care to remember. LoL, epic fails.

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