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Then, boom, I spot her—red heels clickin’, confidence screamin’. “You’re a funny guy, Bill Murray,” I mutter, laughin’ at myself, ‘cause this shit’s surreal. She’s cool, tho—chill vibe, not pushy, asks what I’m into. I’m like, “Baby, I’m Kanye, I’m EVERYTHIN’!” She smirks—prolly heard that a million times. Fun fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—bathhouses where it’s all legal-ish, sneaky loopholes, blew my damn mind when I read that!

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Some locals say my parlor’s in the “bad part” but I disagree. It’s where folks who don’t give a damn come. I've seen the anger and the laughter here. We gossip and share stories. I once had a client babble on about how every lamppost on Calle Real reminds him of his dead beat ex. I just nodded and thought, "Seriously, man?" But sometimes, his rant was as deep as a tearful scene from a movie. I even got a line in there: “I'm just trying to find a place that feels like home,” he slurred, as if quoting Brooklyn off the cuff.

14-year-old Ecuadorian refugee missing after leaving Urbana home to run an errand