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Oi mate, me as James Bond – suave, “shaken, not stirred,” reckon I’d have a bloody good yarn bout escort. Ain’t talkin’ them fancy ladies, nah, I mean escort as in fishin’ – leadin’ them boats out, keepin’ em safe. Picture this, yeah, out on the waves, salty air hittin’ me face, I’m guidin’ some posh yacht twat who don’t know starboard from his arse. Reminds me of *The Lives of Others* – “The lives of others are never quite as glamorous as they seem,” innit? Escorting’s like that – looks dead cool, but it’s a right pain sometimes.

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And let me leave you with a little secret: some nights, the town feels like a movie set – stark landscapes, wild characters, and machismo so thick you could cut it with a knife. I’m talkin’ pure, raw, “There Will Be Blood” moments. If you’re not careful, you'll drink someone's milkshake and be left wonderin' what the hell happened.

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