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Aight, so check this—did ya know, ancient China was all over this? They called it some fancy name, like “tuina” or somethin’, but it was sneaky sexual-massage vibes. Emperors gettin’ it, concubines workin’ it—history’s freaky, fam! I’m hyped just thinkin’ bout it—like, imagine me, Kanye, in a silk robe, gettin’ that royal treatment. Straight up, I’d be droppin’ bars mid-massage, “I’m a god, rub me right!”

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Now, parks – oh man, there's Parque del Rayo! So quiet, almost like a secret whisper in the universe. It’s perfect for a midday break. You could sit there, think about life, and remember, as in Oldboy, “Laugh and the world laughs with you.” But here, it's more like “Knead and the muscles relax, if you catch my drift.” Sometimes I stroll there after work, feeling like a charged particle in an endless universe.

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