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D’oh! Almost forgot – they’re dirt-cheap now, buddy! Junkyards got ‘em for peanuts. Grab one, fix it up, be the king of the cul-de-sac. Escort’s the underdog, man, scrappy lil’ fighter. “Fate has cursed us!” – nah, fate gave us this gem, and I’m damn proud to yap about it! Whaddya think, pal?

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Now, listen, there's this epic park, Parque del Cielo, right by the old canal. Btch, I spent many a lucky night there, just chillin’ and swipin’ profiles under starry skies – just like in a mad Dogville scene: “You’re a great btch at half a million miles,” kinda, ya know? Lol, I may have butchered that a bit.

British dad killed after being 'slashed with broken bottle' in Costa Blanca pictured