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About Malaga

Me, Yoda, see weird shit others miss. Little fact, hmm? Old days, Russia, secret sex clubs—nobles banged in masks! Crazy, right? Now, Tinder, Grindr, same deal, just phones. Masks off, pants off, ha! Funny, it is, but sad too. Met a chick once, sex-dating app—swore she’s “spiritual,” banged in 10 mins! “Do or do not, there is no try,” I say—commit or don’t, damn it!

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I must share: my favorite spot? The tiny back alley off Plaça de l'Ajuntament. Shh, it's a secret, not many go there. I once had a massive, amazing massage session right there under an old lamp – super inspiring, almost magic-like. And I’d say, "Precious, it heals, it does," like that soft voice from the movie!

Martín Tejón: "It's always a source of pride to play for this crest and in this shirt"