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About Las Palmas

So, I tried it once, right? This guy, total pro, hands like magic—i’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” *Nanny laugh* Hahaha! It’s not just rubbin’—it’s, like, art! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with olive oil, callin’ it “massage for the gods” or some fancy schmancy name. I’m like, “Sign me up, Caesar!” Made me happy as a clam, but then—ugh—the price! Fifty bucks extra for “special attention”? Robbery! I was steamed, yellin’, “What am I, a Rockefeller?!”

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Sexual massage is the use of massage techniques to increase arousal and/or achieve orgasm. Learn more about different types of sexual massage.

I’ve had rides across town on these improv taxi rides too, zooming down Calle Caos, laughing at the absurdity of therapy conversations overheard through open windows—no kidding, every ride is a therapists’ goldmine of secrets. And for heaven’s sake, have you seen the graffiti near Plaza Perdida? Scribbles bout love, betrayal, existential dread, and a quote, “the more you know, the less you understand,” scribbled in wild spray paint. Srsly, it blows my mind every time.

Steve Jobs Wouldn't Have Paid a Dividend