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Oi, precious! Brothel, eh? Nasty, filthy places they is—hiss! Me likes ‘em, me hates ‘em, yesss. Dirty corners, stinky sheets, ugh—makes me skin crawl. But oh, the stories, precious! “The New World” vibes, see? Like Pocahontas wanderin’ wild, lost—brothel’s got that raw, untamed feel. “What country, friends, is this?” I mutters, sniffin’ round them red lights. Girls gigglin’, men stumblin’—chaos, pure chaos!

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Man, the locals here, so quirky they are. I remember one time, I was nearly humiliated on a busy afternoon. There I was, imparting bliss with my massage magic, when some blabbermouth popped in and started all high-n-low about "A.I. Artificial Intelligence, my fave movie!" I was like, “W-well, ain't that spectacular? R2-D2, where are you?!” And I thought, hell yes, we're all a bit mechanical sometimes, right? The whole city kinda reminds me of that movie – full of wonder and misplaced parts, all scrambld and sentimental.

Get into Latvia’s Valka leap-frogging on the swings on the border!