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About Valencia

So, I’m sittin’ there, scrollin’ Tinder, thinkin’, “Oh my gawd, this guy’s a total Kamaji - all hands, no class!” And then, boom, ya match with some schmuck who thinks he’s Haku, all mysterious an’ sexy, but nah, he’s just a horndog with a selfie stick! *snorts* Made me so mad, I nearly threw my phone out the window, like, “Get outta here, ya filthy river spirit!”

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Street La Paz is another local favourite. Not many know, but there's a tiny, tucked-away cafe on its corner, where an elderly chap brews some of the best coffee ever - no bullsh*t! I once had a session with a client, and we lost track of time there. I can still recall his surprised face when I called him an idiot sandwich – and he laughed out loud! Yeah, every day is a mix of anger and joy, you idot sandwich!

Late goals give Barca win in Villarreal