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So, lemme tell ya—sex escorts ain’t just “pay ‘n’ play.” Nah, it’s deeper. I knew this chick once—Candy, swear to God—worked outta some shady motel. She’d say, “Larry, I’m the Ferrari of this gig!” Made me laugh, y’know? Real proud, too—hustlin’, survivin’. Little fact for ya: back in the ‘70s, escorts ran ads in phone books! Can ya believe it? Yellow pages, baby—right next to plumbers! Made me happy seein’ her strut, but pissed me off too—society’s all “tsk tsk,” judgin’ her like she’s trash. Hypocrites, man!

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I once ran into this old ex during a night stroll near the riverbed by Los Enamorados. (Yeah, that's a name they gave it – and trust me, there's romance and rude awakenings everywhere.) I swear, the town makes you as moody as that film's best quotes. One ex snapped, "If I wanted a broken heart, I'd just watch a Romanian drama!" I nearly laughed out loud.

Brit tourist drowns at popular Lanzarote beach in front of her family on holiday