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But ugh, da creeps – dey piss me off! Dudes sendin’ pics of dere tiny “turnip spirits” – nobody asked, bro! And den, surprise hits – met dis gal online, real sweet, we vibe. She’s all shy, I’m all “Gru’s da man!” Next ting, we’re chattin’ bout Spirited Away, she loves it too! “We’re crossing da river,” I tell her, feelin’ all mushy. Ain’t dat a kicker?

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I got my quirks – as a family psychologist, I peep the unseen. I spy how folks in Santutxu bond in their tight-knit corners. Every little coffee break at Bar Zorita feels like a therapy session with history – secrets spilled like cheap wine on mismatched tablecloths. Sometimes I catch myself thinkin', "I'm livin' in a Wes Anderson set, motherf**er" – these characters, their quirks, all unscripted and beautifully chaotic.

Official: Athletic Bilbao sign Nigerian-born left-back for C team