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Once knew a guy, swore it cured his blues. Exaggeratin? Maybe! But he glowed, swear to carrots. Me? I’d prolly giggle thru it—too ticklish! Oh, and fun fact: some pros use feathers! Feathers, doc! Freaky deaky! Surprised me big time. Anyway, sexual-massage is dope—part luxury, part therapy. “The world’s an unjust place,” Larry’d say, but this? This might fix ya up, doc! Eh, what’s cookin in yer head now?

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It’s kinda like nature’s own therapy. Like, seriously, nature heals, right? “Do what you wanna do” kinda vibe – like in that movie, Shame (Steve McQueen, 2011). The city makes ya feel every emotion. I mean, one minute, you see sunbeams thru the trees at Parc de la Llum, and then booom – a memory hits, bittersweet like the movie’s lines.

Mallorca events: What's on Friday, 11 to Thursday, 17 April