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About Valencia

Now, lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some dodgy blokes hire ‘em just to flex – proper muppets! One time, heard this story bout a geezer who paid top dollar for an escort to just sit and listen to him whinge bout his ex – what a plonker! Coulda got a shrink for half the dosh! Laughed my arse off – “That’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard,” like Richie Tenenbaum droppin’ truth bombs. Still, fair play to her, she cashed in – clever bird!

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Man, sometimes I get so mad at how city politics mess up things – like, come on, less drama, more love, y’know? But oh well, the locals are totes warm and real. I even got caught up in a wild street fest near Avenida La Verdad – it was insane, insane, and filled with sounds from every corner. I swear, the town pulses with raw life.

Fabio Jakobsen wins Vuelta a España green jersey