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Sometimes it’s a slog, tho—dudes sendin’ dick pics, girls ghostin’. Makes me wanna yeet my phone into the Bifrost. Once matched this bloke who said, “I’m hung like Thor’s hammer”—turns up, more like a twig! Laughed my arse off, then bounced. “I don’t want freedom. I want to live!”—that’s me ditchin’ bad lays for better prey. Oh, and fun fact—studies say 1 in 5 hookups turn into somethin’ real. Wild, huh? Loki don’t do “real,” tho—too messy.

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Also, dem cool neighborhoods like La Cala have their own quirks. It’s like each alley’s a secret waiting to be revealed. Sometimes, while I debug my app at a café on Carrer del Mar, a stray cat messes with me; I get mad, but then laugh, ya know?

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