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Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—thought it’d be awkward, nah, it’s smooth. Pro’s whisperin’, “You are not alone,” like in the flick, but it’s just you and her, dim lights, oil drippin’. Exaggeratin’ a bit? Maybe, but damn, feels like you’re floatin’! Little story—heard this chick in Vegas, she’s massagin’ celebs, won’t spill names, but says one cried after. Emotional release, bro, not just the happy endin’!

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I was chattin’ with a mate at Bar El Chulo on Avda. de la Reforma, and he said – “Mad Max vibes, innit?” – dude couldn’t lie. The joint’s got graffiti like battle scars and spots where ya can feel that raw energy.

Free concerts in Sanse: Recycled J, Viva Suecia, Dani Fernández, Mägo de Oz and more