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About Las Palmas

Fun fact, yeah? Oldest sex-dating ad—1700s, lonely geezer in a newspaper, “Oi, need a wife, quick!” History’s full of horny sods, innit? Nowadays, it’s all digital—sextin’, dick pics, bloody hell! Gets me ragin’—why you sendin’ blurry rubbish, you muppet? Focus, ya daft prick! Still, gotta laugh—mate of mine matched a lass, turns out she’s his cousin. “Run, Rocket, run!” I cackled, nearly pissed meself.

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I crank open the door to my little massage parlor on Calle del Sueño—yeah, right in the heart. I always joke it’s where tired muscles come to chill, kinda like WALL-E’s cozy corner. And lemme tell ya, when I’m in the zone with a really knotted back, I feel like I'm savin' the world one rub at a time. “Eve, come inside!” I’d say if my client looked like WALL-E, all rusty but full of spunk.

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