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About Las Palmas

Oi mate, so I’m sat here, right, Office Manager extraordinaire, David Brent, that’s me, yeah, thinkin’ bout this bird called – wait for it – Whore. Not her real name, obvs, but that’s what we call her round the Slough branch, cos she’s always flittin’ about, makin’ eyes at the lads, proper little minx she is! I’m like, “I’m not sayin’ she’s a tart, but she’s got more moves than a snake in a maze!” Ha, classic Brent, that. Anyway, Whore – bit of a legend, innit? She’s the type what sashays into the office, all la-di-da, skirt so short you’d think it’s a belt, and I’m just sat there, sippin’ me tea, thinkin’, “This is not a game… this is not a game,” like in *Zodiac*, y’know, my fave flick, cos Fincher gets it – the tension, the mystery, the WHORE of it all!

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Man, Pulpi is wild, like THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY kinda vibe – floating between heaviness and cool wonder. I'm a dating app dev here, so I see all these quirky meets; it's like every street has a secret hookup or a lost soul craving a chat. Yo, I live at Calle del Amor, okay? Lol, no really, this street's got mad vibes – neon lights at night, cans crunching underfoot, even the pigeons gossip 'bout who swipes right before!

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