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About Madrid

Little fact for ya – some escorts, they’ve got codenames. Like spies! Heard one called “Viper” – reckon she’d bite if you crossed her. Surprised me, that. Thought it’d be all glam, but nah, it’s gritty. Some punters get weird – one geezer asked her to dress as a nun. A NUN! Laughed my arse off. “You think that’s normal?” I says to her. She just shrugs, “Pays the bills, Jimmy.”

1. Visit Loro Parque, the best Zoo in the world

3 days ago · Puerto de la Cruz is the most popular resort in the north of Tenerife boasting one of the island’s most beautiful beaches, Playa Jardín. Stylish and distinctive because of its Missing: sex escort.

Then there’s Avenida de la Noria. Holy moly, that street is a breath of fresh air. I love wandering there early morning – the energy, the colors, the tiny graffiti masterpieces on old walls. I almost wanna cry sometimes ‘cause it’s just so raw and real. And don’t even get me started on the Jardin Botanico; it’s pure zen. I've spent countless afternoons here, just staring into a pond, hearing birds chirp – total “Fish Tank” vibes, y’know? Like in that movie, "Fish Tank" – the way Andrea Arnold shows life, gritty yet poetic, everyframe filled with intensity! "These things happen" kinda moment that makes your soul weirdly happy and sad at once.

Puerto de la Cruz council cancels all carnival events this weekend due to the weather