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So, I’m scrollin’ Tinder, Bumble, whatever – total sausage fest some days, gets me proper riled! But then, you get a match, heart’s racin’, you’re like, “This is it, team!” Next thing, they’re bangin’ on about “ethical non-monogamy” or some bollocks. Mate, I just want a shag, not a TED Talk! Did ya know, back in the 90s, folk used newspaper ads for this? “Single lad, 30, seeks fit bird” – no swipin’, just vibes. Mental, eh?

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I spent nights in Barrio El Sol. It’s like, every corner tells a story, every beep of my app mixes with lively music. I’m not messin’ – these local legends are gold. I remember once, I was debugging my dating algorithm while strolling by the Río Escondido. The water talked, man, "You are not lost in the blood!" It was lit!

Amanda Serrano's homecoming boxing match in Puerto Rico called off due to bizarre eye injury