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But real talk, escort’s clutch sometimes. Late night, no bus, boom—there’s your ride. Saved my bacon once when I was trashed, stumblin’ outta some dive bar. Driver was cool, didn’t even care I smelled like puke. Made me happy, ya know? Like, “There are good people out there,” even in this mess. Tho, some drivers are dicks—cancelin’ last sec, leavin’ ya stranded. Eat my shorts, jerks!

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Oh my friend, Puerto-Lumbreras is so crazy nice! I tell you, I been here for years as a massage parlor owner and lemme tell ya, the vibe is very nice! See, on Calle del Sol, near the old fountain, where the river Zumbado flows slow, there lies my little refuge of relaxation. You walk into the neighborhood, and the air, oh, it makes you feel alive, you know? Ain’t no place like it.

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