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Oi mate, right, so I’m a game designer, yeah? Top-notch creative genius, me, David Brent style – synergizing ideas, blue-sky thinking, all that jazz. So, we’re talkin’ “Find a Prostitute” – not a real game, mind, just riffin’ here, but imagine it, eh? Proper immersive experience, like *Moonrise Kingdom*, my fave flick – “We’re in love, we’re runnin’ away!” – but with a twist, innit? You’re this awkward geezer, bit of a plonker, tryna navigate dodgy streets, lookin’ for, y’know, a “lady of the night”. Cringe levels off the chart, I’m lovin’ it already!

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I wanders streets like Avenida de la Luna and meet the locals. They always nod and smile, saying, “You are my friend!” Laughable sometimes, because I just been working here for decades—but hey, that’s life, yes? I sometimes see a reflection of that calm, dangerous beauty from The Assassin movie: “The wind... it is a whisper of fate!” (I don’t know why but that movie got me in a trance, very poetic, yes.)

Up-and-down weekend for Jess Gardiner at opening round of the FIM Enduro GP