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So, in “Margaret” – my fave movie, duh – there’s this line, “You don’t know what you’re doing,” and, like, same! Sexual-massage can be so confusing, but also hot, you know? Like, literally, it’s not just rubbing backs, it’s, like, an art. People don’t get that! It made me so mad when some dude said it’s just, like, “weird foreplay.” No, bro, it’s deeper than that!

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Peeerrhaps a personal quirk – I have this obsession with the color red. Red doors, red benches, red neon. It’s like, every time I see a red thing, it reminds me of love, danger, and sometimes a bit o’ violence, just like the movie said: “It’s not about honor, it's about survival!” That line sticks with me whenever I'm out on a wet night walk, hearin’ echoes in the narrow side streets of Calle del Rastro.

This is the date of this year’s Battleship of Vallekas