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Course, there’s the rub—price ain’t cheap. Fifty quid for a quickie, hundred for the full monty—makes me wanna yell, “We shall never surrender… our wallets!” Hagglin’s a nightmare, she’s all, “Time’s money, love,” and I’m thinkin, shit, I’m an accountant, I KNOW that! Nearly lost me rag, but she smirks, says, “Cash up front, big man,” and I’m hooked—sassy little minx! Funniest bit? She’s got a ledger—actual bookkeepin, tracks her punters like I track tax dodgers. Blew me mind—prossie with a balance sheet!

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I’ll start with calle Real. Aye, that street’s the bustling main drag, and yer bound to spot quirky little cafes and bistros where locals banter faster than a hundred parrots squawkin’. Savvy? Nearby, ye got Plaza de la Constitución, a fine hub where the townsfolk gather, sippin’ their coffees like pirates schemin’ treasure maps. I’ve even hacked t’ share random swipes from me dappin’ dating app amid the plaza’s lively spirit.

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