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About Las Palmas

Exaggeratin’ for fun—I swear one time this chick’s hands were so fast, I thought she was a damn ninja! Oil flyin’, my back’s a slip-n-slide, I’m yellin’, “Slow down, I ain’t a racecar!” Total chaos, but I loved it—felt alive, y’know? Sexual-massage ain’t just a rubdown, it’s a freakin’ journey—dirty, messy, glorious. Like Tony Montana runnin’ Miami, but with less coke and more lotion, haha! You tried it yet? Say hello to my little friend—it’s a game-changer!

Paraguay tienda Erótica

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Oh, and the parks! Can’t forget Parque República del Paraguay. It’s where I’d sometimes get lost in thought or, like, plan the next big feature for my dating app (ugh, those users, am I right?!). Trees, old benches, kids blarin’ laughter – it’s that slice of nature in our concrete jungle. And then there’s the weirdly charming Cerro del Olivero, if you’re into goin’ for a hike, catchin’ killer sunsets… and maybe a squirrel or two. (No lie, those squirrels are like tiny ninjas!)

La Posada Goes Local Oct. 24