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Oh, and get this – back in the day, brothels had secret codes! Knock twice, whisper “rosebud,” and ya in! Sneaky, right? Makes me happy thinkin bout those clever chicks outsmartin the cops. But ugh, the creeps they dealt with – hairy guys, bad breath, pawin at em. Gross! I’d be like, “Take a hike, loser!” – nasal screech on full blast.

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Strolling down Calle Real is an adventure. Seriously, the cobbled street makes you feel all ancient. I been here for ages – and as a sexologist, I spot vibes and energy everywhere. I mean, sparks fly on every corner. And oh, the Castillo de los Templarios! That fortress? It's a legit scene-stealer. It stands stubbornly on a hill, just watching over us like a grumpy old uncle. Pretty, pretty good.

Ferdinand J. Sia promoted to Vice chairman of DoubleDragon