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I was pokin’ around, thinkin’—what’s the deal here? Massage with a wink-wink? Turns out, it’s been around forever—ancient Rome had these “rub-downs” where senators got freaky with olive oil. True story! Little-known fact: in Thailand, they’ve got this “soapy massage” thing—girls lather ya up, slide all over, and boom, ya feel like a million bucks—or “One million dollars!”—pinky up! I’m sittin’ there, cacklin’, ‘cause it’s genius—slippery, sexy, and straight-up bonkers.

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I can get all worked up sometimes. One time, I tripped over a stray brick on Estreta Loca (oops, I mean Calle Loca), cursing all the way like a politician in a debate – “Fool me once! Twice, forget it!” What a scene, man. And seriously, when the rain hits those dim lanes, it’s like time’s slipping away in reverse, like that crazy film muddle memory style, you know what I mean?

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