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But—oh, man—sometimes escort pisses me off! Last month, this rookie escort forgot the route—FORGOT! My crates of fancy wine sat there, sweatin’ in the sun, while he’s scratchin’ his head. “Wanna know how I got these scars?” I yelled—kiddin’, didn’t say that, but I wanted to! Cost me a grand to reroute. Chaos, pure chaos, and not the fun kind.

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The city’s vibe, its pulse, is so tangible. When I'm workin’ my magic with my clients, feelin' every muscle relax and unwind, I remember how the bustling little alleys, like Calle de la Luz and Calle del Olvido (yes, the forgotten street, believe it or not) add something poetic to every moment. Every back alley hugs a secret story, every door hides another adventure. “Lost in Translation, lost in thought,” I muse sometimes, as I set up my massage table right in the middle of the local hubbub.

25 Reasons to Visit the Canary Islands