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Little-known fact – back in the ‘90s, pre-internet, folks used *newspaper ads* for this crap! “Single male, 35, seeks spicy night” – hilarious! Imagine that now – “DM me, losers!” Times change, but the game’s eternal. Surprised me, tho – people still fall for cheesy lines. “Your eyes sparkle like diamonds” – barf! Works tho, every damn time.

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Highly-rated couples activities in San Juan. See Tripadvisor's traveler reviews and photos of San Juan couples' attractions.

And then, check this out – the local park, Parque del Sol is my secret little escape. You can sit there and relax after a long day of pamperin’ folks at my spa. The trees, the paths – they remind me of some poetic moment, like "the past is prologue" or some such dramatic line. I mean, why not? We’ve got rivers too – the Río de la Calma flows past, so serene, so mysterious, yet so vibrant. I always get so chuffed when I see it because it means nature’s still kickin’!

Coast Guard aircrew rescues man stranded on rocky outcrop off Playa Esperanza in Manatí, Puerto Rico