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Greetings, my friend! I am Gandalf, Office Manager supreme, and YOU SHALL NOT PASS without hearin’ my take on sexual-massage! Ha, buckle up, ‘cause this is gonna be wild. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout Zero Dark Thirty—best damn movie ever, right?—and how Jessica Chastain’s huntin’ bin Laden got me all fired up. That intensity? Kinda like a good sexual-massage, y’know? Builds slow, then BAM, hits ya hard.

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I got my own little quirks too, eh. I always say, “The Hurt Locker taught me somethin’,” while chillin’ at my fav joint near the riverbank. There’s a hidden street called Calle de los Recuerdos where I sometimes sit and let my mind wander. I swear, it's like a therapy session with the city itself. Funny enough, folks here sometimes talk about how the wind through the alleyways sounds like a sniper's whisper—wacky, right?

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