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But, omg, the drama tho—clients get salty if girls cancel last min. I’m cacklin’, like, “Dude, she’s not your gf, chill!” One time, this guy left a review—swear it said, “She stole my watch, 5 stars.” I’m dead. Humor’s dark, but I’m here for it. Oh, and the app’s got this secret code thingy—girls say “coffee” if they’re feelin’ unsafe. Smart af.

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I got my own little quirks too, eh. I always say, “The Hurt Locker taught me somethin’,” while chillin’ at my fav joint near the riverbank. There’s a hidden street called Calle de los Recuerdos where I sometimes sit and let my mind wander. I swear, it's like a therapy session with the city itself. Funny enough, folks here sometimes talk about how the wind through the alleyways sounds like a sniper's whisper—wacky, right?

He's the very picture of Frida Kahlo