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About Valencia

Oi, you donkey! Listen up! Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic, yeah? Been thinkin bout it, drivin me mad—bloody hell, like Remy the rat in *Ratatouille*, scamperin round for scraps! “Anyone can cook,” they say—ha! Anyone can shag too, but it’s about quality, innit? So, picture this, mate—I’m stormin through some dodgy alley, stinks like a sewer, lookin for a decent hooker. Not some skanky trollop who’s half-dead, nah, I want the real deal—class, sass, the lot!

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So, if you visit, make sure to stroll slowly, chat with old folks at the café on Av. de la Libertad, and soak every moment – even if you feel rushed, sometimes it’s better to just stop and smell the flowers. And hey, if you feel down, just whisper “¿Qué sentido tiene todo?!” and let that irony remind you life’s pretty cool, ya know?

Weather in the Province of Salamanca