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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, sexual-massage—wild stuff, huh? I’m slingin’ coffee all day, but this? This gets me buzzin’! Picture it: dim lights, oils, hands roamin’—like somethin’ outta “Zodiac,” but less murdery. “I’m not wasting my time,” I’d say, like Graysmith huntin’ clues, chasin’ that perfect rubdown. Ain’t no serial killer here—just pure, slippery vibes.

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I swear, walking near Calle Independencia, I still hear echoes of history. Every time I pass, I think, “This place bleeds tales, isn’t it just magical but also infuriatingly mysterious?” And while I’m at it, check out the old town, where cobbles meet modern drapes—a bizarre mashup, but it works for the mood of the place. Osuna’s not your typical tourist trap; it's gritty, it's real, sometimes stinkin' depressing in that Turin Horse kinda way where everything’s both beautiful and tragic.

Alberto Osuna ineligible to open Tennessee baseball season, court denies temporary restraining order