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Precious, we’s a Master o’ the Forest, yesss! Escort, eh? We thinks ‘bout it—escort’s a tricky beastie! Like in *Holy Motors*, “We do it for the beauty of the gesture,” eh? Sssneaky folks drivin’ fancy wheels, takin’ rich hobbitses where they wants! We hates it! All primped up, smilin’ fake-like—ugh, makes our skin crawl, it does!

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Look, Ontinyent isn’t just a dot on the map. It’s a labyrinthine playground for love, frustration, and some downright bizarre moments. Wander through its winding alleys, soak in the local art in the bazaars on Calle del Sol, or just sit and watch the world go by in Parque San Francisco. It’ll twist your mind, refresh your soul, and sometimes make you wanna scream, “Oh, come on already!” But heck, that’s home.

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