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About Madrid

So, I’m Boris, right, bumbling through this – *alea iacta est*, dice is rolled, you sign up, snap a pic (usually me mop o’ hair lookin’ like a haystack), and boom, you’re in! Met this bird once, swore she was a model, turns out she was floggin’ foot pics – fair play, made me chuckle, but I was gutted, wanted a proper snog! Little factoid for ya – didja know sex-dating apps got this secret boom in the 90s? Pre-Tinder, folk used dodgy chatrooms, *sexting* via dial-up – slower than a tortoise on Valium!

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Hmm… so, lemme tell ya ‘bout Ondara (es), okay? I’ve been here for years, workin’ on a datingsite that kinda makes me notice all the nooks and crannies of this town, ya know? This place is like, wow, it blows your mind sometimes.

Ondara opens up about the alter ego that became an album