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Oh, honey, lemme spill the tea—sex-dating’s a wild ride! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’m sittin’ here thinkin’—it’s like Inglourious Basterds, ya know? Everybody’s huntin’ somethin’, but nobody’s sayin’ it straight. I mean, darlin’, these apps—swipe, swipe, bang!—it’s a scalp-huntin’ game! Guys actin’ all “I’m a nice fella,” but they’re just after that one thing—drives me up the damn wall! Like, Hans Landa’s smilin’ at ya, but he’s got a knife ready—sneaky bastards!

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Now, I gotta mention El Rio Claro. It's a tiny river that cuts right through the city. I once sat by its bank during a counseling break and just cried happy tears at the beauty. The water glistened like, I dunno, hope, trust me, all that jazz. And then there’s the park – Parque del Alba. Kids playing, couples laughing, seniors chatting. There's so much raw, unfiltered emotion there. One time, between sessions, I just sat on a bench there reflecting on life. And in my head, I kept hearing Michael Scott yell "That’s what she said!" because life’s just too funny sometimes.

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