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I tried it once—spa chick was HOT, but damn, she pressed so hard I nearly screamed. Made me mad as hell—thought she’d snap my spine! Then—oh, sweet Jesus—it flipped. Bliss hit me like a freight train, muscles singin’, happy as a pig in shit. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but fuck, it felt like Carol whisperin’, “You’re trembling,” right in my ear—chills, man, chills! Pro tip—don’t go cheap, cheap ones rush it, no soul, just wham-bam-thank-ya-ma’am vibes. Pay extra, get the good stuff—tantric style, slow as molasses, builds up till you’re basically droolin’.

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Then there's the river, El Riu Vell, slipping quietly through the outskirts. Chill place for thinking about life's mysteries. I peeped it one day and thought, “This is it, 'cause no country for old men, yet here I find hope.” Lol, a bit dramatic maybe.

Birthplace of Miró’s art to open to public