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About Las Palmas

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk erotic-massage with ya. Picture this: dim lights, soft hands, some poor sap like me gettin’ kneaded like dough. It’s wild, lemme tell ya! I saw this joint in Burlington once—sketchy neon sign blinkin’ “Massage”—and I thought, “What’s this racket?” Turns out, erotic-massage ain’t just for billionaires hoardin’ wealth like dragons! Nope, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had it, Greeks too, rubbin’ down soldiers after battles. Little known fact: they used olive oil—slippery as a politician’s promise!

Royal Rose Temple

We specialize in Shiva/Shakti Couples Tantra exploration, Individual private Tantrik Bodywork Rituals & Somatic Sensual embodiment experiences.

You gotta check out, like, the riverside walk along Río Mar. It curves about like the twists of human desire – totally poetic, my friend. A hidden gem? For sure – near the old grain mill, there's this secret bench where you can, like, really talk about the joys and struggles of intimacy, without even thinkin' about who's watchin'. Trust me, it's my fav spot when I'm feelin' all introspective and passionate!

Big new mixed climb on Mount Providence in Alaska by Andres Marin, Tad McCrea, Anna Pfaff