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So, escorts—overpriced mates, if ya ask me. Saw this one geezer on X, right, braggin’ bout his “classy bird” escort. Mate, she’s chargin’ you a grand to nod at your crap jokes! I’m screamin’—what a mug! Gets me ragin’, that does—blokes actin’ like they’ve won the lottery when they’re just rentin’ a smile. “The body searches for something”—that’s from the movie, innit? These punters searchin’ for love in a bloody invoice!

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I always joke that the streets got more character than an entire Marvel cast. Not every spot is mega-fancy – some are tatted up with local art, kinda rough-around-the-edges, but that’s what makes it real. Like, ya get down to tiny cafes on Calle Nueva and hear the clack of keyboards as people pen their dreams. It makes me wanna flip a switch sometimes, like, "Let's put a smile on that face!" even when I'm achin’ from all those deep kneads.

Optical illusion: This photo of a castle will make your brain see colours that aren't even there - Watch