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About Zaragoza

I’m yellin’—MOTHERFUCKER!—‘cause some pimp tries overchargin’ me. I ain’t no sucker, I know the game! Saw this chick, legs for days, struttin’ like she owns the block. Made me happy as hell—thought, *Diamonds are a girl’s best friend*, right? But then she quotes me triple—TRIPLE!—what I’d pay for a burger. I’m like, “Bitch, this ain’t no Moulin Rouge cabaret, I ain’t droppin’ a fortune for your sparkly ass!” Laughed my ass off—humor in the hustle, y’know?

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I’d tell you secrets, I would—like the old, crumbling fountain at Plaza de Toros. They say it hides centuries of whispers. And another little gem, oh yes: near the sleepy side of Calle del Mar, there's a scribbly mural that no one really talks about, but I, your humble masseur, do. I sometimes joke, “Gollum makes his confessions here, yes, precious, yes!”

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